As a mom of two little girls, it is no surprise that we made Frozen their first movie theater movie. But I [Ginny] had no idea how much they would love the movie. Anna and Elsa have made their entrance into our home as official members of the family. We have the dolls to prove it! In fact, we have visited them at the theater THREE times. Thank goodness for matinee prices and 10:50am showings!
Because of their fondness for this new Disney movie, I have had the opportunity to think a lot in that reclining seat in the dark. For those who haven’t seen the movie, it is about two sisters, Anna and Elsa. Elsa was born with the power to create snow and ice, but she doesn’t have any control over it. After injuring her sister when they were kids, she has to hide away in the castle as she learns to control her powers which are set off by fear. After their parents meet a fateful (and let’s face it, predictable) end, she is crowned queen. During the dance after the coronation, she and Anna have a shouting match which ends in Elsa accidentally throwing ice at everyone and turning the whole kingdom into a wintry mess. The rest of the movie is spent as Anna finds her sister, and they try to find a way to restore summer. (SPOILER ALERT) In the end, Elsa learns that love can give her control over her powers.
How many of us, like Elsa, are born with things that are considered curses to us? - Family curses that have been passed down many generations. Perhaps it was uncontrollable anger, inability to trust others, or fear that keeps us from enjoying even the little things in life. In my own family, generation after generation of women have suffered from angry outbursts and inability to control raw emotion. It was passed down from woman to woman, and eventually, I even had it passed to me. You can imagine how fun family gatherings were as a result of so much anger. Almost every family holiday was spent with someone leaving early after a giant fight. All involved felt it was okay to express their raw emotion. I remember sitting at those gatherings, watching the destruction around me, and promising myself that I would never carry this tradition on. Unfortunately, as a result of my upbringing, I had an inability to form close, trusting relationships and saw myself following in my family members’ footsteps. At some point, my raw emotion would rise, and I just blamed it on the other person for bringing me to that point.
Yet, when I met my husband and his family, I saw a family that actually had fun at family gatherings. I saw a family that operated from deep love, and I yearned to have that in my own life. I didn’t want to turn into my family members. I realized that the only way to have that was to CHOOSE to break the generational curse and seek peace in my own self and then in my relationships with others. It was NOT an overnight change. Years and generations of the curse were within me. I was born with the temptation to lash out at others, to snip, to believe that everyone was against me. I am still a work in progress. Making this choice meant some other difficult choices in my life that have resulted in others’ lives no longer being a part of mine. It meant failure after failure as I tried to break the curse. But eventually, I discovered, love is truly what will break it, and not just any love – the love of the Heavenly Father. When I love others with His love, I can have deep and meaningful relationships with others that don’t end in disaster. I can trust that not everyone is against me. I can enjoy peaceful moments in my life without planning revenge on someone for something I thought they did.
I still stumble. But I am so grateful, because of the love I have been given from God, my husband, and amazing family and friends, that I have discovered not only the amazing love of what family love should be, but I can pass on the message of love to my children and not anger.
As I reflect on just how incredibly strong God’s love is for us, I am reminded of the amazing song by Selah – How Deep the Father’s Love for Us. Here are the opening lyrics:
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
When you consider all that God has done for us, despite our failings, it is hard to hold anger against others for their missteps. When you consider that God knows all of our plans and wants the best for us, it is hard to hold onto fear of the unknown. When we consider that the Lord will not walk out on us, even though family and friends have, it is hard to walk out on others or fear others will leave us.
What generational “curse” have you been born with? Dear sister, it doesn’t have to continue. You, with the Lord’s help, can put a stop to it. You don’t have to pass it on to your children. You can make the choice today to fight it. But know this – you cannot fight it without the Lord by your side. You will need his hand to pick you up when you fall. You will need the comfort of His loving arms when you feel like you just can’t fight the curse anymore. You will need His unconditional love when you have failed for the 30th time and your children are looking at you with fear or tears in their eyes, and you feel like a horrible failure. But don’t let Satan bring you down in defeat. You are a princess of the amazing Lord and Savior, and with Him, nothing is impossible. When all feels lost, remember this promise from Jesus’s lips:
Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Do you need prayer or encouragement as you start the journey of leaving behind generational weaknesses? Please feel free to contact us with your prayer requests, and we will be on our knees praying for you. You don’t have to take this journey alone, but it IS your responsibility to take the first steps and choose LOVE.