Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! While it's a holiday where some women celebrate their dad and the father of their children with great joy, it's also a day filled with sadness for many.
For women whose dads have passed away.
For men who yearn for fatherhood, but have trouble conceiving.
For fathers who conceived a child, but lost that child to abortion, miscarriage or still birth.
For women and men whose dads were physically or sexually abusive, physically or mentally
absent, or virtually nonexistent.
There is certainly pain in a day dedicated to dads, when the idea of a perfect or even just an okay dad fills your heart with sadness, because your experience with fatherhood is so far from okay.
Even those of us who had pretty awesome dads (I did!), still can see and feel ways that our dad's human flaws impacted our childhood. Despite being good dads, they still miss the mark, they still sin. No dad can be everything to every child. I realize that even if my husband and I are pretty amazing parents to our children, they still may need some amount of therapy. I understand that I'm not perfect, not a perfect wife, not a perfect mom, not a perfect Christian or a perfect writer.
It's part of my human condition. It's part of my husband's.
You can't be the perfect parent.
Your children may need therapy.
Your children may grow up and bemoan the ways that you jacked them up.
And you may have been a pretty darn good parent.
But the truth is there is only one perfect parent.
Only one parent who will lead us, guide us, discipline us, and love us perfectly. And only one parent that will lead, guide, discipline, and love our children perfectly.
And that perfect parent is God.
So moms and dads who feel like they are failing at parenthood... You probably are in some way, and it's going to be okay. Don't put the pressure on yourself to be perfect. You can't be. Trust in God to be the parent He created you to be. And trust your children to God.
Men and women whose earthly fathers have failed them in so many ways... The hurt that you have deep down inside is real. Our fathers weren't perfect, and some were downright evil, but you don't have to live with the pain they inflicted forever. Those hurts can be healed. You don't have to be your earthly father either, you aren't doomed to repeat the past. God is a God who heals. He is a God who restores. He is a God of redemption and new beginnings. Go to Him, and let Him into the places where you are hurt and scarred. Trust Him for healing and a new beginning.
To the moms who wish their husbands, boyfriends, or babies' daddies would be more godly, less mean or hurtful, and overall just better dads... You can't fix him. You can't change him. You can't nag enough to get him to do what you want him to do. You need to pray and rely on the Perfect Father to step in, both to meet your man where he's at and also to be what your kids need. You can rely on God. Even when you can't rely on your man, you can still trust and rely on God.
For our Hallmark holiday dedicated to dads, look to the Perfect Father to fulfill your heart and make you whole. Because men (and women) will disappoint. Look for God to love you perfectly. Look for Him to heal your heart and make you new. Look for Him to be everything that you need Him to be. Direct your kids to the Perfect Father, too. Neither our earthly fathers nor any other earthly man will ever make us whole. When we look to be fulfilled by them, we find a whole host of problems, because our hearts were only made for God to satisfy.
We will never be led wrong if we seek for God to fulfill us and make us whole.
Are you looking for God to love and fulfill you today?